Watch: Tess Paras: Typecast (Lorde "Royals" Parody)

Typecast (Lorde "Royals" Parody)

Written and performed by Tess Paras

(featuring Haneefah Wood and Ayana Hampton)
Directed by Rebekka Johnson
Music produced by Jack Dolgen
Click for full cast & credits.

Lyrics:

I'm gonna play the white girl's nerdy friend
[Of course]
[Obviously]
I'm gonna play the white girl's other friend
Who is sassy
[Omigod, you nailed that]
But she can't have two black friends
[Two black friends?]
[It gets confusing]
And so I'm left out, I play the co-star nanny

Yeah, leading ladies are
Quirky, hipsters wearing vintage dresses
Tiny, pouty pixies, blue-eyed and precious
We don't care
We're Zooey Deschanel in our dreams

But every breakdown's like
Sassy sidekick, bitchy nerd or neighbor
Oversexed Asian, urban girls with flavor
We don't care
We'll take any job right now we swear

And we're gonna be Typecast
Typecast
Everyone starts somewhere
I'll be a nurse
A thug who's tough
Any maid could look like us
You know what would be cooler
Cooler
If I got my own series
And your own white friend,
Brown friend, beige friend, yellow friend
Submit all ethnicities

Bio at http://www.tessparas.com/bio/:

Tess Paras is an LA-based actor and writer.

Tess Paras currently recurs as “Jayma Chan” on the CW’s Crazy-Ex Girlfriend and is most recognized for her role as “Dana Tomas” on NBC’s hit drama, Grimm (introducing the first Filipino-American storyline on primetime television). Other notable TV credits include: White Collar, Mulaney, Wilfred, Weeds, and The Good Wife.

As a comedy writer, her viral videos on YouTube – “Trumping Makeup Tutorial,” “Typecast” and “What If Catcalls Were Cheeseburgers?” – were featured on: Glamour.com, Perez Hilton, Refinery29, NBC Asian America, MTV News, Jezebel, Buzzfeed, Slate, The Wrap, Angry Asian Man, and The A.V. Club. She’s recently written for the Fusion Cable Network’s Digital Writer’s room alongside sketch writing vets from The Soup and Inside Amy Schumer.

Tess was a cast member in the 2014 CBS Diversity Sketch Comedy Showcase and performs monthly at The Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) Theatre in Los Angeles. She graduated magna cum laude from New York University.

She’s represented by Clear Talent Group and Luber Roklin Entertainment.